One of the greatest hurdles in leaving a toxic relationship is realizing that you are in a toxic relationship. If you believe that you are in a relationship where there is a threat to your physical or mental health, then it is always in your best interests to protect yourself and leave.
However, leaving such relationships is often difficult in many different ways. When it comes to leaving any partnership or relationship, there are often many issues that must be addressed. These may include the division of property, the current living arrangements of both parties, and in some cases, children.
Importantly, there are many resources that are out there that seek to assist individuals that are in a toxic relationship and are seeking a way out. The following article contains information regarding how to leave a toxic relationship, as well as resources that may assist with supporting one’s decision to leave such a relationship.
What Are Signs of a Toxic Relationship?
It is important to note that there is not a strict legal definition for the term “toxic relationship.” However, toxic relationships generally refer to relationships that are unhealthy and harmful to one or both partners.
Characteristics of a toxic relationship often include certain signs, such as:
- Imbalance of Power: In toxic relationships, one person often exerts control over the other
- History of Abuse: In many toxic relationships there is a history or either physical or emotional abuse
- Negative Behaviors: There are also often negative behaviors present in one or both partners, including dishonesty, lack of accountability, poor communication, disrespect, or extreme jealousy
- Emotional Harm: A toxic relationship commonly erodes one party’s self-esteem and overall well-being, which is typically evident through a mental health diagnosis such as depression or post-traumatic stress disorder
- Controlling Behaviors: In addition to negative behaviors, toxic relationships generally have controlling behaviors, such as stalking, ignoring boundaries, or violations of privacy
- Substance Abuse: Other common themes in a toxic relationship include substance abuse by one or both parties, such as the consumption of alcohol or illicit drugs
How Do I Leave a Toxic Relationship?
When it comes to leaving a toxic relationship, doing so can be challenging. However, it is important to take the right steps to help ensure your safety and well-being.
The following is a list of steps to consider when seeking to end a toxic relationship:
- Acknowledge the Problem: First, you must recognize that your relationship is toxic and that you deserve to be in a better situation then the one you are in
- Seek Support: Next it is important to reach out to your support system, such as trusted friends, family, or a therapist
- Having a support system can provide you with both emotional strength and practical advice and resources necessary to distance yourself from the toxic relationship
- Create a Safety Plan: It is important to plan how you will leave the relationship, including what safe place you can go to stay, what you will take with you, and how you will notify the other person
- Gather Important Documents: You should also collect essential documents such as identification, financial records, and any legal documents
- It is important to keep important documents in a safe place to avoid destruction of documents by the toxic partner
- Consult a Lawyer: In some cases, you may wish to consult a family law lawyer if you need advice regarding your legal rights and options when it comes to shared assets, property, or children (discussed below)
- Set Boundaries: It is important to clearly communicate your decision to leave and set firm boundaries to protect yourself, such as avoiding engaging in arguments or being drawn back into the relationship
- Seek Mental Health Help: You should also focus on your physical and emotional well-being, by considering therapy or support groups to help you heal and rebuild your life
- Restraining Orders: Finally, if you feel physically threatened, you immediately seek a restraining order to legally prevent the other person from contacting or approaching you or your family
Once again, if you have been abused or there have been threats of physical violence, you should immediately contact the appropriate authorities to protect yourself and/or your family. In some states restraining orders are sometimes also referred to as protective orders. A restraining order is a formal order issued by a court that restricts another person from contacting or otherwise harming another person.
A restraining order generally does this by requiring the individual to either do or not do certain specific acts. For instance, a restraining order may require a person to maintain a specific distance, such as three hundred feet, from another person at all times.
The exact rules concerning restraining orders will differ based on the state you live in. Often your local law enforcement can provide you with the information necessary to seek a restraining order. A family law lawyer may also be able to assist you.
Importantly, violating a restraining order will result in criminal penalties for failing to follow the terms of the order. As such, if your toxic partner attempts to violate a restraining order issued to protect you, your family, or your property, there will be penalties for doing so.
How Do I Leave a Toxic Relationship With Children Involved?
As mentioned above, sharing children with a toxic partner makes leaving a toxic relationship even more difficult. However, leaving a toxic relationship that involves children is also even more important, as numerous research studies have shown that witnessing a toxic relationship between parents hinders a child’s development and may change how they interact with others.
Toxic individuals in relationships often use children as a bargaining chip in order to maintain control over their partners. In other words, they use the children as a means of ensuring their partner remains in the relationship and does what they want them to do.
In the case of leaving a toxic relationship with children involved, the issue of child custody will inevitably come up. As such, in these cases it is highly recommended to seek out a child custody lawyer to assist you in the process.
Child Custody Matters
As a legal term, child custody refers to the legal and practical relationship between a child and their parent. Importantly, the exact laws concerning child custody will vary by state. As such, you should always become familiar with your state’s exact laws concerning child custody.
Although each state has their own laws concerning child custody, every state will adhere to the child’s best interest standard when making any decision regarding child custody. The child’s best interest standard is a legal standard that dictates that all decisions related to a child must be made with the child’s interests and backgrounds being placed above the parent’s personal preferences.
In general, most courts presume that a child spending time with both parents is in the child’s best interest. This means that most courts tend to favor joint custody arrangements, where both parents make decisions regarding the child’s upbringing and spend around equal time with the child or children.
However, that presumption can be rebutted. For example, in a toxic relationship situation, a court may determine that it is in a child’s best interest for one parent to have full or sole custody of a child. This is especially true where there is evidence of domestic or child abuse.
As such, if you are seeking to leave a toxic relationship that involves children, it is recommended to consult with an experienced child custody lawyer. That attorney will be able to ensure that your parental rights are protected, and assist you in securing the resources necessary to protect yourself and the children.
Do I Need a Lawyer for Help With Leaving a Toxic Relationship?
As can be seen, there are numerous issues and complications that may arise when leaving a toxic relationship. As such, if you are seeking to leave a toxic relationship, it is recommended to contact an experienced family law lawyer near you.
LegalMatch can assist you with locating and setting up a consultation with an experienced attorney in your area that can assist you with locating the resources necessary to leave a toxic relationship.
A lawyer can also help you understand your state’s specific laws on share property division, child custody, and other issues that may arise when it comes to leaving a relationship with a toxic party. They will also be able to inform you of your best course of legal action. Finally, an attorney will also be able to represent you in court, as needed.
