Irreconcilable Differences

In general, irreconcilable differences refer to a legal term that is found in family law. This term is used to express the reason individuals seek a divorce or dissolution of a marriage or civil union.

When spouses file for a divorce or dissolution, they have to cite the legal grounds for doing so. Although it will depend on the laws of the state where the couple is filing for their divorce or dissolution, irreconcilable differences may be just one of several options that may be available to a couple as their legal reason for seeking a divorce.

Irreconcilable differences are commonly cited as the basis for a no-fault divorce. A no-fault divorce is a divorce where neither of the parties is at fault for the marriage or civil union failing, but for various reasons, a divorce is necessary, for example, when the spouses simply still cannot get along with each other.

How Are Irreconcilable Differences Generally Defined?

The definition of irreconcilable differences is fairly vague but includes many types of conflicts and disputes. An irreconcilable difference is a term that is used to describe the overall state of a marriage or civil union.

Irreconcilable differences do not refer to a particular incident that occurred during the marriage or civil union, for example, infidelity or abuse. The basic premise of irreconcilable differences means that the couple does not believe they can save their marriage, even if they attend counseling.

The individuals are breaking up because there is a fundamental part of their relationship that is preventing them from being happily married.

How Are Irreconcilable Differences Legally Defined?

When individuals file for a divorce or dissolution based on irreconcilable differences, the parties may include language in their legal documents similar to the following examples:

• Both of the parties agree that the breakdown of the marriage is a result of irreconcilable differences. It follows that further efforts at reconciliation would not be in the best interest of either party;
• The phrase “irreconcilable differences” is often accompanied by certain legal terms, including:
  • irretrievable breakdown of marriage;
  • irremediable breakdown; and
  • incompatibility;
    • All of these essentially mean that the marriage is not fixable; and
• Another legal definition that is commonly associated with irreconcilable differences is that the differences between the parties are severe enough to make legal marriage difficult or nearly impossible.

It is important to note, however, that a court will rarely investigate the details of what the differences actually are, especially in states that are no-fault jurisdictions. Every state offers some form of no-fault divorce.

What Are Some Examples of Irreconcilable Differences?

There are several reasons that may exist when a divorce is granted based on irreconcilable differences. Examples that divorcing couples repeatedly cite include:

• Finances: This may refer to how the spouses prefer to handle their money;
  • In some situations, one spouse may make more money than the other, which may create tension in the marriage;
• Communication: The spouses cannot seem to communicate well or to communicate at all, which may lead to daily arguments between the spouses;
• Work life: Work can interfere with a relationship for many reasons. It may mean that one spouse has long hours or travels often, which can cause a breakdown in the marriage; and
• Life goals: If the spouses got married young or did not discuss their long-term life goals before getting married, they may have different views on what they want in their futures, such as:
  • Whether or not to have children;
  • Where they want to live;
  • What their long-term career goals are; or
  • When and where they want to retire.

The reasons listed above are not requirements for getting a divorce based on irreconcilable differences. Instead, they are just basic examples used to demonstrate the vagueness of the term and the types of conflicts that may fall under its meaning.

What Are the Requirements for a Divorce or Dissolution Based on Irreconcilable Differences?

The requirements for filing for a divorce or dissolution based on irreconcilable differences will vary widely by state. For example, some states impose a waiting period, and others may require that the couple live separately first, typically six months, before the court is permitted to file for a divorce based on irreconcilable differences.

Other frequently cited requirements for obtaining a divorce based on irreconcilable differences may include:

• The couple was married for less than a specific time frame, for example, less than eight or ten years;
• The couple must have lived in the state where the divorce is being filed for a certain amount of time;
• The spouses did not have children together during their marriage, and the wife was not pregnant at the time of the filing;
• The couple’s total joint income must be less than a certain amount;
• The spouses may have to give up their rights to spousal support;
• Both of the partners must disclose all of the assets they obtained in addition to any tax returns filed during the marriage; and
• Finally, in a minority of states, the parties must both explicitly agree that irreconcilable differences are the basis for why they are filing for divorce or dissolution.

This means that, in some situations, citing irreconcilable differences is not always available as grounds for a divorce.

What Are the Residency Requirements for Obtaining a Divorce?

Each state requires that the spouse who is filing for the divorce be a resident of the state. The time requirements for establishing residence may vary.

In general, however, the requirement typically ranges from six months to one year. There are also some guidelines for divorce that all individuals should follow, including:

• Being cooperative: The divorce will proceed much smoother if the spouses seek to cooperate with the other parties and attorneys who are involved. An individual can be penalized if they purposely seek to disrupt or delay the divorce process;
• Being honest: Legal penalties may be imposed if an individual falsified information during their divorce;
• Exercising full disclosure: This applies especially with regards to property and assets; and
• Being prepared: There are many deadlines and document requests going on during divorce, so it is helpful to stay organized and keep up with these requirements, especially during the initial stages of the case.

It is also important to note that divorce laws will likely vary by jurisdiction. Because of this, an individual may want to review their local and state divorce laws and consult with a local attorney.

The cost of a divorce lawyer will likely vary depending on the location of the divorce proceedings.

Do I Need a Lawyer if I Have Questions or Concerns Involving Irreconcilable Differences?

Being involved in a divorce can be a lengthy and stressful life experience. In addition to the emotional toll it takes on you and your family, getting a divorce may also impact your property and finances and will likely disrupt your normal routines.

In addition, divorces and dissolutions may be complicated and lengthy legal processes. If you are considering a divorce based on irreconcilable differences, you should consult with a local divorce lawyer for assistance.

Your lawyer will provide you with guidance throughout the process and represent you during court appearances to ensure your rights are protected. It is important to ask your lawyer about any specific rules that may apply in your particular state.