When it comes to divorce, everyone seems to know at least one person that has been through the divorce process. The legal term divorce refers to an official court procedure in which the legal marriage between two parties is dissolved.
It is important to note that each state has their own specific laws regarding divorce. As such, each state will have their own civil rules and procedures regarding obtaining a divorce. As far as the reasons for a couple deciding to get a divorce, there are numerous reasons that may be cited as the basis for obtaining a divorce.
These reasons may even be cited as grounds for arguing for a fault based divorce in some states. Regardless of the reasons for seeking a divorce, it is important to understand the divorce process in your particular state in order to successfully navigate the divorce process. The following article explores common reasons couples may divorce, as well as the divorce process itself.
What Are the Most Commonly Cited Reasons for Divorce?
As mentioned above, there are numerous reasons that may be cited as a reason to obtain a divorce. In the context of the legal arena, the most cited reasons for divorce include:
- Adultery, infidelity, or lack of commitment
- Abandonment
- Irreconcilable differences
- Physical or emotional abuse, including domestic abuse
- Lack of physical intimacy or other intimacy issues
- Financial reasons
- Unrealistic expectations
All of the above issues are underlying issues that commonly get translated into legal terms to justify the dissolution of a marriage. The following is a more in depth discussion of the above issues
Lack of Commitment
One of the most commonly cited reasons for divorce is lack of commitment. In fact, lack of commitment is cited by 75% of people who seek to end their marriages through the divorce process. Lack of commitment is even more common than infidelity, which is often thought to be the leading cause of divorce in the United States.
Real commitment is often thought of as both spouses being dedicated to both enjoying their marriage coupled with navigating and overcoming hard times and obstacles. If one spouse feels that the other spouse isn’t on the same commitment level as them, then that can lead to that spouse seeking a divorce.
Adultery or Infidelity
Adultery or Infidelity is often cited as the next most common reason for couples seeking a divorce in the United States. It is important to understand the distinction between the two terms. Infidelity is commonly defined as the act of being either emotionally or physically unfaithful to a spouse or partner.
On the other hand, adultery is typically defined as engaging in physical, sexual activity, and may be considered a criminal offense and grounds for a fault-based divorce in certain states. Regardless of whether infidelity or adultery has occurred, either one is a valid reason for divorce in most states.
When seeking to introduce evidence of infidelity or adultery in a divorce proceeding, the filing party must be able to provide proof that the other spouse had sexual or interpersonal relations with another person, such as by providing:
- Video evidence
- Audio evidence, such as phone calls or recorded messages
- Written evidence, such as letters or emails
- Financial evidence, such as receipts or bank statements from restaurants, gifts, or trips
- First hand evidence, such as witness statements
In some cases, the party filing for divorce may seek a fault-based divorce in order to be granted an unequal division of marital property assets. They may even provide additional evidence, such as evidence gathered by a private investigator. However, although adultery is a valid reason for fault-based divorce, some couples still choose a no-fault divorce instead because it’s simpler and less expensive.
No-fault divorce rules remove the need to provide a reason for divorce and make it more difficult for the other spouse to contest the divorce. It is important to check your state’s laws regarding whether or not they allow for both no-fault divorces and fault-based divorces.
Abandonment
Abandonment, also commonly referred to as desertion, is a legal term that is used to form the basis of certain proceedings in family law matters, such as divorces and legal separations. In general terms, abandonment occurs when either spouse decides to move out of the family home without warning or informing the other spouse of their intention to leave the residence.
In these cases, the spouse that was abandoned and left in the familial home may have the basis to assert abandonment and provide a family court evidence that the other spouse abandoned them. The family law court may then consider evidence of abandonment, along with many other factors, in order to determine whether the abandoning spouse’s actions constitute reason enough to grant a fault-based divorce.
The primary factor that a family law court will always look at when determining whether or not a spouse has been abandoned is how long the spouse has been gone from the primary home residence. In fact, most states require a period of at least a year from the spouse not returning to the primary residence in order for the other spouse to show that they have been abandoned.
As with most issues in divorce cases, the laws for abandonment will vary from state to state. For example, states like Colorado and Illinois allow both fault-based and no-fault based divorce assertions to individuals seeking a divorce. As such, filing for divorce based on the grounds of abandonment may result in one spouse receiving an unequal division of the marital assets if they are not at fault in the divorce.
Irreconcilable Differences
The most commonly cited legal reason for a divorce is irreconcilable differences. Once again, when spouses file for a divorce or dissolution of their marriage, they have to cite the legal grounds for doing so. Irreconcilable differences refers to a legal term that is commonly used to express the reason individuals seek a divorce or dissolution of a marriage or civil union.
Depending on the laws of your state, irreconcilable differences may be just one of several options that may be available to you as a legal reason for seeking a divorce. Irreconcilable differences are commonly cited as the basis for a no-fault divorce.
In other words, a divorce where neither of the parties is at fault for the marriage failing, but for various reasons, a divorce is necessary. For instance, when the spouses simply cannot get along with each other, irreconcilable differences may be cited.
Domestic Abuse
Domestic abuse often refers to a pattern of abusive behavior by one person to another person, in order to gain or maintain control over the victim. In the context of a marriage, one spouse may commit domestic abuse against the other spouse in the following contexts:
- Physical abuse, including hitting, biting, slapping, hair pulling, etc.
- Denying medical attention to a spouse who needs it
- Forcing their spouse to do drugs or drink alcohol
- Sexual abuse, or forcing their spouse into sexual contact
- Emotional and psychological abuse
- Economic abuse, such as making their spouse rely on them financially
- Stalking and cyberstalking
The impact of any of the above instances of abuse can be devastating, and lead to a breakdown of trust, safety, and emotional well-being in a marriage. As such, it is also a commonly cited reason for divorce. Some states even allow for an expedited divorce process if it is based on physical abuse.
Financial Differences
Money and financial difficulties is another one of the most commonly cited reasons for divorce.
If a couple’s stress over finances begins to outweigh the joy in their relationship, or if one spouse’s spending habits make the other spouse feel unsafe or uneasy, then they may begin to consider divorce.
As such, it is important for spouses to discuss finances and financial expectations of a relationship and marriage. They may even wish to execute a prenuptial or post nuptial agreement to ease their mind regarding finances coming into the marriage.
Do I Need a Lawyer for Help With the Divorce Process?
As can be seen, there are many reasons that may contribute to a person considering a divorce. As such, if you are thinking about getting a divorce, or if you have been served with divorce paperwork, it is in your best interests to consult with an experienced divorce lawyer immediately.
LegalMatch can assist you in setting up an initial consultation with a family lawyer in your area. An experienced family law attorney will be able to help you determine your best course of legal action, and ensure that your rights are protected throughout the entirety of the divorce proceedings.
Additionally, an attorney will also be able to ensure that you have full access to all of the documentation necessary to make informed decisions regarding the divorce and division of marital property and assets. A lawyer can also represent you at any temporary or preliminary hearings. Finally, they will also be able to assist you during a final hearing in front of the judge or jury, if necessary.
