Once a judge issues a custody or visitation order, both parents must follow it. Failing to comply—perhaps by withholding visits from the other parent or refusing to return the child at the right time—is serious.
Under Washington law (Revised Code of Washington (RCW) 26.09.160), a parent who disobeys a custody or visitation order can be found in contempt of court. If the judge decides you are in contempt, you could face different penalties, such as:
- Fines: The court may order you to pay money for not following the plan. Washington law sets at least a $100 civil penalty if you deliberately violate the visitation or residential parts of a court order.
- Attorney Fees: The judge might make you pay the other parent’s attorney fees and court costs if they had to come to court to make you obey the order.
- Make-Up Time: If you keep your child away from the other parent, the judge might require you to give the other parent additional makeup visits. This is meant to fix the time they missed out on.
- Possible Jail Time: In some cases, judges have the power to order short jail stays if they believe that is the only way to get you to follow the order. They might try lesser punishments first, like fines, but if you keep ignoring the court’s instructions, jail time can be on the table.
- Change in Custody: If you repeatedly violate the order, the judge might see your behavior as harmful to the child. The court could consider changing who has primary custody, especially if it believes you are interfering with the child’s relationship to the other parent.
You could also face criminal charges in extreme situations, such as taking the child out of state against the order or hiding them from the other parent. For instance, if you intentionally remove a child from Washington to deny visits, you could be charged with “custodial interference” under RCW 9A.40.060 or 9A.40.070. This is quite serious and can involve arrest.
Overall, ignoring a custody or visitation order can lead to court fines, paying the other parent’s legal fees, and even the loss of certain custody rights, so it’s best to schedule a legal consultation with a Washington child custody lawyer.
The court’s main concern is the child’s best interest standard, so when parents fight or break the rules, it can disrupt a child’s sense of stability. The law tries to maintain a schedule that allows both parents to remain involved in a child’s life, unless there is a valid reason to limit one parent’s access.
What Can You Do if Your Child Custody or Visitation Order Was Violated?
Sometimes, the other parent is the one breaking the rules—for example, they ignore the schedule, refuse to return the child on time, or keep the child away altogether. If that happens to you, you do not have to just accept it. You can:
Ask the Court for a Finding of Contempt
If you believe the other parent is blatantly committing a visitation or custody court order violation, you can file a motion asking the judge to find them “in contempt.” You will need to gather proof, such as text messages, missed exchange logs, or statements from witnesses.
If the judge agrees that they violated the order without a good excuse, the judge must impose certain penalties under RCW 26.09.160, such as fines or makeup visitation time. The judge can also require them to pay your attorney fees.
Seek Police Assistance
If the other parent simply will not return the child, you might be able to contact law enforcement for help. However, police usually hesitate to get involved if it’s just a civil matter. They may advise you to go to court unless the child is in immediate danger or the parent’s violation looks like a criminal act (such as hiding or fleeing the state with the child).
Request a Modification of the Order
If the other parent’s behavior is so extreme that you no longer feel the current plan is workable, you may ask the court to change it. A judge may adjust the schedule or even reduce the violating parent’s time if ignoring the order is putting the child’s well-being at risk.
This is not a simple process, though. You need to show that circumstances changed enough to justify a custody modification.
Document Everything
Be sure to keep a record of each missed exchange, late pickup, or text message that shows the other parent ignoring the plan. These details are often important if you go back to court.
If you just have your word against theirs, it can be harder to prove a violation. Organized documents, like a calendar showing each missed visit and your attempts to fix the problem, help the judge see what happened.
In some cases, a violation might be unintentional or minor—maybe there was a misunderstanding about pickup times. If you can calmly communicate with the other parent and solve it outside of court, that might be easier and cheaper. But if the other parent consistently disobeys the court order, you probably need to ask a judge for help.
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How Can I Avoid a Child Custody or Visitation Dispute?
No parent wants endless fights over child custody decisions and visitation. The best way to avoid problems is to create a clear plan in the first place and keep the lines of communication open.
Some tips include:
- Have a Detailed Parenting Plan: Make sure your plan explains which days and times each parent has the child, how exchanges happen, and who handles major decisions. This helps reduce confusion. If something is unclear, parents might disagree later.
- Be Flexible When Possible: If the other parent has a special event or needs a bit of a schedule swap, consider saying yes. A bit of flexibility can build goodwill. That parent may return the favor when you need it.
- Communicate in Writing: Using texts or emails to discuss schedule changes is helpful. You have a record of who said what and when. That can prevent “he said, she said” arguments. Just remember to keep your tone polite and child-focused.
- Plan Ahead: If you want to travel or if your work schedule changes, let the other parent know as soon as possible. Surprising them at the last minute can cause tension. The more heads-up they have, the better.
- Follow the Order Unless You Both Agree: Even if you feel the order is unfair, follow it until you can get it changed legally with the help of a local attorney in Washington. If you ignore it, you risk being found in contempt. If you and the other parent mutually want changes, you can put that agreement in writing or file a request to modify the order.
- Use Mediation or Counseling: If you’re starting to argue more, consider a neutral professional, like a mediator, to help you talk it out. Mediation in Washington can be a less stressful and less expensive way to fix issues before they blow up into a bigger court conflict.
When parents keep the child’s best interest standard in mind, it often reduces tension. The goal is for the child to have a stable life with consistent time and care from both parents.
If personal grudges or misunderstandings get in the way, the child might be the one who suffers. So, remain respectful toward each other whenever you can.
Should I Get a Family Law Attorney To Help With My Child Custody or Visitation Dispute?
If you’re dealing with repeated violations of your custody or visitation order or you feel stuck in how to enforce it, consider contacting a Washington child custody lawyer through LegalMatch.
A local attorney in Washington can offer a legal consultation, help you understand your situation, and guide you through the next steps. Whether you need to file a contempt motion, modify an existing arrangement, or defend yourself against accusations, an experienced lawyer can fight for your rights and aim to protect your child’s best interests.
Jose Rivera
Managing Editor
Editor
Last Updated: Jan 28, 2025