When it comes to raising a child or children, having a good co-parenting relationship is important in providing the best possible environment for the child or children. Additionally, in the cases of divorce or separation, having a solid co-parenting relationship will lessen the complications involved in obtaining a court ordered custody schedule, including lessening the cost required to obtain such an order.
However, in many situations, co-parenting is difficult to achieve. For instance, many couples that separate or divorce often do so because they have developed irreconcilable differences, which have made their relationship deteriorate. Separating that relationship and the ability to be good parents can then be complicated. The following article explores tools and tips that may assist people in these situations on developing an effective co-parenting plan.
What Are Examples of Effective Co-Parenting Tips?
When it comes to effective co-parenting, it is important to research what has worked for other persons that have been in situations similar to your own. The following is a list of tips that individuals that have gone through a separation or divorce have found helpful when developing an effective co-parenting plan:
Develop a Workable Communication Plan
Oftentimes a divorce or separation leads to complete block when it comes to communicating with your ex. However, when it comes to raising a child, communication with the other parent involved is important. As such, it is recommended that you discuss how to effectively communicate with your ex when it comes to a co-parenting plan.
Nowadays, there are numerous communication applications that may be employed, such as a group chat through a messenger application, that parents may use specifically to communicate events regarding the child. These may include scheduling health appointments, education opportunities, and extracurriculars. In some cases a neutral third party may be used to help you both find a workable communication plan.
Create a Shared Calendar
Another important aspect of raising a child is ensuring that they maintain a consistent schedule, regardless of the parent that they are with. However, when it comes to maintaining a child’s schedule, not using a calendar often results in missed appointments and miscommunications.
As such, it is recommended to use a collaborative calendar app or online tool where you and your former partner can keep track of events regarding your child’s schedule.
Create a Shared Files Folder
Similar to a shared calendar, many separated or divorced couples with children have also found that creating a shared files folder, such as using an online file storage application, is extremely helpful for keeping track of important documents.
For example, if a child has a medical appointment with one parent, that parent can scan and upload the documents to a shared folder. This allows the other parent to access the documents when it comes to any future medical appointments.
Always Put the Child’s Interests First
When it comes to a successful co-parenting plan, minimizing conflicts between the two parents is essential. As such, one tip that many parents share is treating their former partner like a colleague.
This helps to ensure that a level of respect is maintained in order to effectively communicate regarding their shared child. Arguing in front of your child or bad mouthing your ex in front of your child results in a breakdown of trust when it comes to co-parenting.
Allow Your Child to Make Decisions
Although it is important as co-parents to make decisions regarding a child’s education, extracurriculars, and who they interact with, allowing your child to make decisions also helps them feel that they are in control of the new situation navigating from one parent to another.
For example, allowing them to make a decision regarding what to take to the other parent’s house, allows the child to feel calmer in navigating the separation.
Consider a Mediator or Therapy
If there are any problems that arise during co-parenting, such as a disagreement or conflict regarding major aspects of raising your child, then it is often recommended talking to a neutral third party. A neutral third party, such as a family mediator, is often crucial for resolving conflicts and finding a solution that works for both parties.
In the situation, and without a neutral third party, further communication on a conflict or disagreement can often lead to additional conflicts. Additionally, if your child is acting out, a licensed child therapist may be consulted in order to help both parents navigate that situation.
What Are Examples of Effective Co-Parenting Tools and Applications?
When it comes to tools that are available for parents to utilize in developing and maintaining an effective co-parenting plan. As technology continues to evolve at a rapid pace, there are now more tools than ever that divorced or separated couples may use in co-parenting their shared child.
As mentioned above, an effective co-parenting plan should encompass vital elements such as:
- A calendar regarding custody schedules, and other scheduled appointments regarding the child or children
- Guidelines regarding how the transfer of the child will occur, such as pick-up and drop-off locations and times
- A method of tracking expenses and keeping track of important documents
- An effective method of communication, such as utilizing a co-parenting messaging application
- An effective way of navigating and handling disputes
The following is a non-exhaustive list of co-parenting tools that you may find helpful in maintaining and developing an effective co-parenting plan.
Court-Approved Parenting Apps
There are several co-parenting apps that are available to assist divorced or separated parents in managing their communication and scheduling. For example, Our Family Wizard and Talking Parents are both popular examples of such apps that offer features involving messaging, shared calendars, expense tracking, and document sharing.
Other examples of co-parenting apps that similarly help with co-parenting by allowing for shared communication, calendar management, and document management include:
- Custody X Change (this app offers free and paid subscriptions)
- WeParent (This app is a paid subscription)
- 2Houses (This app is a paid subscription)
- AppClose (This app is free)
- CoParenter (This app is a paid subscription)
- Fayr (This app is a paid subscription)
Co-Parenting Courses
There are numerous online and in-person co-parenting courses that are available to separating or divorcing parents that can get them setup to have a successful co-parenting plan from the very get go. In fact, many more courts have begun to order that both parents undertake and complete a co-parenting course prior to issuing a final order regarding split or shared custody of a child.
Even if it is not court ordered, there are many local colleges and universities, and community groups that provide in-person or online co-parenting courses that provide helpful information and solutions regarding developing and maintaining an effective co-parenting plan.
Do I Need an Attorney for Help With Developing a Co-Parenting Plan?
As can be seen, there are many issues that are involved in a typical divorce or separation. As such, if you are undergoing a divorce or legal separation, and are wishing to develop an effective co-parenting plan, consulting with an experienced divorce lawyer is recommended.
LegalMatch can assist you in setting up a consultation with a family law lawyer in your area. An experienced family law attorney will be able to help you determine how to best navigate developing an effective co-parenting plan. Further, as mentioned above, having an effective co-parenting plan can reduce the complications and issues that often arise in a divorce or separation involving a child.
Enlisting the aid of an attorney will also help you reduce your costs by helping you navigate the more complicated procedures of a divorce or separation. Further, in case of a conflict, negotiating and communicating through an attorney may be more effective than direct communication with your ex. Finally, should a conflict arise that requires court intervention, an attorney will be able to represent you at any in person proceeding.
